Juice.
This weekend
was full of juice.
Fruits.
Veggies.
Juice.
Yep, John
Wayne and I’s inner-hippie came out and we did a 3-day 2-day juice cleanse.
We did Dr.
Oz’s because when I was researching cleanses, this handy dandy infographic {now
there’s a word I haven’t used since my desktop publishing days of high school}
spelled out everything, from the shopping list to the recipes, very clearly.
I decided
that I was going to do this awhile back and blocked out my first open weekend
on the calendar and marked it as dedicated to the juice cleanse. Much to my surprise, John Wayne said he’d
join me. We were all set to eat drink
nothing but juice for 72 hours. That is
a long time, especially to carnivores like us, who are just used to going the
10 hours or so at most between our beef dinner and bacon breakfast.
But we were
ready. Luckily, the calendar had
remained clear and we weren’t faced with any disruptions to the 72 hour
cleanse. Well until the phone rang last
Tuesday night and one of the neighbors invited us over Saturday afternoon to
BBQ and shoot trap. John Wayne certainly
wasn’t going to turn this down and even more certainly, he wasn’t going to go
and turn down a hamburger and admit that HE was participating in a juice
cleanse. And well, I didn’t really even
want to admit it either, so we decided we’d go.
And eat beef. In the middle of
our cleanse.
Saturday
morning came. We were well prepared
{sarcasm font} to do this cleanse thing – the new juicer still set brand new in the box
on the counter where it had for the three weeks since the UPS man delivered it. {This is how excited we were about this new
appliance, there was no getting it out, washing it, reading the instructions, beforehand…} So we figured it out and went to
juicing. The breakfast juice wasn’t bad
at all. At this point, the excitement of
a “clean me” is high and I’m euphoric about how awesome I am doing this whole
juice cleanse. {And not to mention, I
know that this afternoon, I’m going to cheat and eat a hamburger.}
Well…John
Wayne ran into calving problems and so there was no BBQ at the neighbors.
No hamburger.
While John
Wayne was out riding 12 miles, looking for a lost calf, I went ahead and made
my lunch drink. It’s the green one –
kale, cucumbers, celery, etc. – I’m not even going to lie and tell you that it
wasn’t that bad. It was disgusting and I
literally fought a gag reflex the whole time I was choking it down.
My euphoria is
gone.
I’m ready to quit.
Yes, after just two drinks.
When John
Wayne finally calls to tell me he’s headed home, I ask him if he wants a steak
or hamburger for dinner. {I figure after
a long day in the saddle, he’s going to be all for quitting too}. NO, he tells me, we’re having juice. Whaaattt?
Honey are you ok, do you have heatstroke or something.
The truth eventually comes out and the
reason we are forced to continue the cleanse is all about the money. All of these ingredients were not cheap and
let’s not forget about that new juicer too.
John Wayne
juiced and I drank mine.
And
complained.
And begged for a cheeseburger.
{The dinner
drink wasn’t as good as the breakfast one, but it wasn’t bad at all}.
So, in the
middle of the night while the juicing nazi was sleeping, I ate crackers. {Not bad considering all of the things I
could have eaten.}
Sunday
morning, I said I’ll fix French toast and we’ll top it with all of the berries,
so they won’t go to waste. John Wayne
wins again. He continued to keep us on
track, with the compromise that he’d let us break it a day early.
We
celebrated with a cheeseburger last night.
We are the
worst juicers on earth. You are supposed
to prepare your body for the cleanse a few days leading up to it, things like
weaning from caffeine and such. I drank
an extra cup of coffee on Friday morning in hopes that it would last me a little
longer. You’re supposed to drink a
bunch of water while you juice...somewhere between chasing a busy toddler and holding a fussy 6-month-old, I forgot to drink all that water. You’re supposed to take a pro-biotic…too
cheap to add that to my grocery cart. When you do break the cleanse, you're supposed to eat salmon and salad...not a cheeseburger.
So, I’m not
really the girl to ask how a 3-day juice cleanse works for you. I can tell you how a modified 2-day cleanse,
with no preparation, ending with a cheeseburger, works for you. My main reason behind doing this cleanse was I had
read that it can help cleanse your palate and reduce cravings. My sugar craving had gotten out of control,
so we’ll see. I haven’t raided any
cabinets looking for cookies…yet. I lost
two pounds, no big deal; I could have done that by drinking tons of water. I will tell you that I did not ever feel
hungry during the cleanse, my tummy was
never growling for food. Mentally, I was
just craving meat. With all of that
being said, I will try it again. I’m
going to try to modify or find a new recipe for the lunch “green” juice, I just can’t even choke it down. But this is not something that I’m marking
off my list forever.
So there you
have it, what happens when a cowboys {wife} juice cleanses.
